Festival Diary: Bearded Theory 2024
Words and Photographs: Eerie Rose | See full gallery of photos and weekend summary here
Mid-morning, on a Thursday in late May, I found myself on a coach headed to Bearded Theory festival with my partner and 5.18 writer Shane, in order to experience and document the weekend for 5.18. Being a magazine so heavily interested in underground music, it was exciting to see so many bands on the lineup we had worked with before, or had on our list to work with in the future, and I was excited to get my teeth into my first camping festival review despite the weekend ahead being littered with weather warnings.
Bearded Theory is held at Catton Hall, Derbyshire, in the heart of the National Forest. Beginning as a birthday celebration in a field behind a pub, it’s become a multi-award winning annual affair, booking the likes of Echo & the Bunnymen, The Pretenders, Bob Vylan, Interpol, Patti Smith and The Flaming Lips to name just a few from recent years. With an audience-led lineup, each year has a really balanced selection of once-in-a-lifetime heroes playing back to back with local underground stars you can catch before they hit the bigtime. It does feel like stepping into your music enthusiast dad’s party playlist a little bit - a cacophony of music greats interspersed with serious up-and-coming talent, with artists often booked more than once if they’re still relevant, rather than a constant turnover of newer and newer sounds simply for clout. It feels very genuine.
Our coach dropped us off a little further than expected, leaving us stomping through some seriously deep mud before realising we’d come to the wrong gate (my fault) and having to take a detour along the road around the outer edge of the festivities, to find the right way in. Accreditation was smooth sailing, and before we knew it we’d found our campsite (thanks to some seriously friendly festival security and staff). After encountering some treacherously slippery tracks, with deep sticky mud and ankle deep puddles, we were rescued by a guardian angel called Mike on his three wheeled bike, who let us sling our kit on the net basket stretched between his back two wheels, which he carried over the mud for us in exchange for a push through to prevent him from getting stuck. He took us right to the perfect clear spot on a slight incline for the drainage, and soon we were setting up in the grass, shockingly bright and green against the backdrop of a brooding and wet grey sky.
There is something that is always so magical about that first look around the site at a festival, and even though, stepping into the main arena for the first time, we were met with a thick layer of mud - it didn't seem to be stopping many from having a good time. Submitting fully to the will of the weather, festival-goers had simply sacrificed the cleanliness of their shoes to the elements; donning rain jackets and ponchos they clustered together with us at the main Pallet stage to see Irish garage punk up-and-comers Sprints, who we wrote about after their album release in January this year. Originally booked to play the significantly smaller (but very beautiful) Woodland stage, the band had been moved to the Pallet after the rain had made the former just too wet for the first few days, and it was honestly a perfect sequence of events as the main stage is where Sprints is supposed to be. Their sound is loud and grungey without being messy; polished but still punk. They finish with ‘Literary Mind’ and ‘Little Fix’ to huge cheers from the crowd. There’s no way this will be their last Bearded Theory - and I expect next time they’ll be booked for the Pallet from the start.
After a brief exploration around the site to the dancey, genre-defying sound of the Dutty Moonshine Big Band, we got ourselves back in a good spot in front of the Pallet stage to catch the Thursday headliners, SOFT PLAY. The British “two man boy band” walked out to The Venga Boys ‘We Like To Party,’ kicking things off with a fiery rendition of ‘Punk’s Dead,’ a song addressing their rebrand, relevant as the last time they performed at Bearded Theory in 2017 it was under their previous name. The duo deliver a fast, pounding set full of hits that pack a real punch whilst keeping their playful punk attitude. I particularly love the band’s refusal to add more members, or change their way of playing from it’s original and raw sound - they explain there’s only two of them as when they started the band no one else wanted to join, and play a tongue-in-cheek jab at critics of drummer Isaac Holman’s kit set up called ‘Fuck the Hi Hat.’ It’s actually a really cool way to play - standing at the kit, the bass drum is positioned on its side and hit with a stick rather than played with a pedal on the floor like it usually is. It was a great start to 2024’s Bearded Theory, and I felt pumped up enough for the acts to follow that navigating the thick, tractor churned mud on the way back to our tent felt like a fun quest rather than a chore.
Our Friday morning started early, after a decent-ish sleep - our tent was incredibly waterproof, just the airbed decided to deflate entirely halfway through the night. Spirits were kept high with our incredible camp set up, which meant we started our day with vegan sausage bagels cooked on our stove, and even proper pour-over coffee (those plastic v60’s aren’t actually that heavy to bring). Shane is a seasoned festival-goer, so had all of the best ideas for practical stovetop meals and all of the best kit to make our stay both cheap, filling and tasty. Over breakfast, we met our tent neighbour, Jane, who had blue hair and an endless supply of enjoyable stories to tell of other festivals she had worked at. Just like Mike from the previous day, she was welcoming and friendly, and it was nice to find ourselves in a network of festival family on only the first day.
We had an early start down at the Convoy Cabaret tent to see 5.18 faves Gen and the Degenerates play the opening slot. The Convoy Cabaret was a dark, circus-like affair, an alien burlesque club mixed with a punky dive bar, so as you can imagine we felt right at home. A gaggle of people had gathered outside the tent when we arrived, waiting patiently for it to open, the excitement for the band palpable and clear they had some dedicated fans already in the Bearded Theory crowd. Beginning with their debut album opener ‘Kids Wanna Dance,’ they ran us through much loved tracks such as ‘Girls!’ and ‘BIG HIT SINGLE,’ before making everyone learn a dance routine for their new unreleased song ‘Charming.’ It was essential that everyone took part, with the one ground rule being that we must be silly and not try to look good. Everyone got involved, and it was a really perfect and fun start to the day that definitely brought joy to both new and old fans alike - I don’t think anyone left the tent without a smile plastered on their face.
The day continued to be very punk-heavy, the sludgey mud unable to stop us from having a good time. We caught the impassioned, no holds barred Meryl Streek on the Woodland stage, who brought the spirit of protest to the previously peaceful spot under the trees, spitting thought-provoking and angry lyrics over electronic, avant-garde punk beats. We then caught Lambrini Girls and Panic Shack over at the Meadow, the tent packed out for both bands. Lambrini Girls hit the crowd with their usual intense and spirited performance, with vocalist/guitarist Phoebe Lunny crowd surfing and getting huge pits going. Panic Shack seem to have a cult-like following built up in the crowd after also playing the festival in 2023, and it’s no wonder as their set is addictive from start to finish. Dynamic and interactive, they start with a dramatic opener of ‘I Don’t Really Like It,’ all wearing matching outfits of pants and tights with ‘dangerous gigs for men,’ slogan t-shirts. Captivating the audience with lighthearted and entertaining mannequin poses for ‘Mannequin Man,’ and plastic doll prop cradled then thrown into the crowd during ‘Baby,’ they show an ability to really capture the hearts of a festival crowd, not an easy feat when often it might be the first time many of them see your band. Maintaining a down-to-earth, funny vibe they don’t miss a beat with their catchy punk.
One of Friday’s most anticipated acts was the cult classic Bob Vylan at the Pallet stage, coming in hot after the release of their latest album ‘Humble as the Sun.’ A unique and genuine duo, they started their set with meditation and stretching, which the crowd eagerly joined in with. After playing a much smaller stage at their previous Bearded Theory, the band seemed to have the entire festival at their slot, with people as far back as the eye can see - everyone from alternative teenagers and older punters to families with tiny children. It was really heartwarming to see them dedicate ‘Dream Big’ to these kids - so many had Bob Vylan t-shirts, and for their percentage in that crowd to be noticed and appreciated by their idol felt very beautiful. Kids aren’t often given that respect - bands with younger fan bases are often considered less cool somehow, and I really respected Bobby’s effort to not only make the younger members of the audience feel seen and included, but also hype them up with the statement “if we did it - you can do anything.” Following this,‘ He’s a Man,’ comes with instructions for the men in the crowd to step back, and allow women and non-binary people to mosh and dance at the front for the rest of the set. It’s clear that as a band they really care about their audience, and after finishing with ‘Wicked and Bad,’ it’s clear the audience really care about the self proclaimed Fred Perry Mafia (or two bobs in a pod, as they’re affectionately named) in return - not a soul stopped talking about them all weekend. Bob Vylan easily secured their spot as one of the most exciting bands making music at the minute - they well and truly stole the show, and I was overjoyed to get to watch it happen.
The evening was kept high-spirited with Dexys, a nostalgic sing-along for the crowd and perhaps a good warmup for the Catton Fiddle (one of the bar tents) karaoke evenings. Choruses of ‘Come on Eileen’ and ‘Geno’ could be heard long into the night. The final headliner was Future Islands, a synth-pop band that shot to fame after their 2014 performance on The Late Show with David Letterman became one of the most viewed videos on the Letterman channel, and resulted in their single ‘Seasons’ (Waiting on You)’ to be branded one of the best songs of that year. They took to the Pallet stage with the same energy that had gained them this notoriety - frontman Samuel T. Herring performed with a genuine catharsis, using his body as an open channel to let the music stream through. It’s hard not to dance along with his moves, and enjoy his unique vocal dexterity.
On Saturday, Shane and I got up super early…coffee brewing, bagel making…in order to catch Problem Pattern’s early set at the Meadow. We realised, only after getting totally ready and hurrying ourselves to the tent, that we were in fact 24 whole hours early for their Sunday slot. Nothing if not eager, eh? We decided to wait for the promised sun that was due to make an appearance, and took a peaceful morning stroll around the stalls and vendors, eventually settling with an iced coffee on a bench to catch Prima Queen at the Pallet stage. It was a calm and dreamy start, chill indie/ alternative rock warming us up in the sunshine for another day at Bearded Theory, which we spent soaking up as much as we could from each stage. Highlights included The Meffs, a fast-paced, punchy two-piece playing catchy and on the nose punk, and South London’s finest Goat Girl. The sun finally broke through the clouds properly during their set on the Pallet stage and warmed my skin properly for the first time that weekend, while their understated performance style captivated the crowd with a casual and modest energy, selling their music based on the quality of their sound alone rather than relying on any theatrics.
Remaining at the Pallet, we got caught up in the storm that is WARGASM. Wild and unapologetic, the pair hit us with a brutally heavy set that knocked the crowd for six. Blending features of nu-metal and punk with electronic elements, thrash guitars and humming bass that vibrates your entire body, vocalist/bassist Milkie Way and vocalist/guitarist Sam Matlock really are a force to be reckoned with. The pair look like rockstars, simultaneously with the energy of music’s legends but also something new…there’s just something about Milkie’s staple bullet belt and bright platinum hair and Sam’s angular Jackson guitar that makes them feel a little like video game characters. It also has to be said how much energy their live band brings - I found it hard to take my eyes off the talent of their drummer, and full live team who all match the vivacity of the duo themselves. I was intrigued to see how the Bearded Theory crowd would take to WARGASM, being a newer, more scene and metal adjacent sound to the diy punk, alt-rock vibe of the majority of the lineup, but they seemed to go down a treat with everyone getting involved especially during songs like ‘Bang Ya Head.’ It seems that the audience are incredibly open-minded, enjoying a variety of music and ready to experience new artists and discover new sounds.
Next on our agenda was a personal favourite band of mine, The Menstrual Cramps, who I’ve been catching as often as possible since I first saw them play at The Victoria in Dalston sometime around 2017. They really capture what diy punk should be - entirely unapologetic, politically informed and active. Saturday did have Sleaford Mods as the first main headliners for the evening, however this clashed with The Menstrual Cramps over at Convoy Cabaret - and whilst we all have enjoyed Sleaford Mods music at one point in our lives, the recent statement from the band refusing to “pick sides for something I ain’t got any real idea about” after an audience member at a show threw a Palestinian scarf onstage (resulting in the band walking off) made my decision for me. Vocalist Emilia Elfrida thanks us for doing so, explaining that Sleaford Mods were actually one of their favourite bands up until that point - sliding effortlessly from this into their confronting ‘Idols,’ the chant-like repetition of the chorus “don’t idolise your idols,” holding the audience to account for turning a blind eye to the sins of our favourite artists. The Menstrual Cramps are unafraid to encourage discomfort in their own fans, in their audiences…as much as they are ready to tackle those in power, they’re also constantly educating the people directly in front of them, and ready to confront them with serious hard truths. They finish with ‘Bush,’ one of the first songs Emilia wrote for the band, and walk off only after they flash their butt to the crowd. Always entertaining, always relevant, it’s impossible to get tired of them.
Back at the Pallet stage, the legendary Jane’s Addiction put on a once-in-a-lifetime show having flown in from the US to play, with some fans having got tickets to the festival just for them. They performed with a vigour that definitely satisfied the crowd, proving themselves as the incredible musicians they are rather than being a gimmick or not trying hard because they know people will sing along anyway. It was unforgettable, and definitely a highlight for many that came. Leaving us ready to keep the night going, we caught some of China Shop Bull’s ska punk at the Convoy Cabaret, and BC Camplight at the Woodland stage. We then headed over for ‘A History of Drum and Bass’ at the Big Ed, an outdoor stage in the shape of a big, leafy, foliage face with mushrooms growing at the top, which usually kept going later into the night and always drew us in for a dance whenever we passed by.
Sunday was a wet and grey morning, and we knew we were in for a serious day of mud and showers. Nothing could stop us from our morning tent-side bagel and coffee, however, and our enjoyable breakfast catch up with Jane, comparing stories from the day before. Once suitably caffeinated, we headed over to the Meadow for my absolute favourite Problem Patterns (and we had the right day, this time). The Irish punk band came out as if that stage was theirs, and it really was - they radiate so much power and joy in a way that’s raw, authentic and contagious. Swapping roles and instruments in almost every song, dancing with all their might, Problem Patterns are a band you can’t take your eyes off, and can enjoy watching time and time again. Whilst their performance was fun and excitable, not taking themselves too seriously, the content of their songs remained significant and political, exploring themes such as transphobia in ‘Terfs Out,’ homophobia in ‘Lesbo 3000’ and the tragic state of the NHS and healthcare in the UK with ‘Who Do We Not Save.’ Astutely factual and on the nose, they targeted real issues with angry sincerity, but remained able to empower and energise the crowd, with guitarist/vocalist Beverley Boal hopping the barrier and pushing everyone around to start a mosh during ‘Letter of Resignation.’ They finish the set with ‘Day and Age,’ and it’s not an exaggeration to say we were all genuinely gasping for more. The audience that buzzes around this band feels really alive, and really encapsulates for me what punk music is supposed to be about - refusing to take the shit we’ve been given, and instead forging new supportive and uplifting communities.
In amongst downpours of stop-start rain, bursts of sun followed by ominous, looming clouds, we watched Melin Melyn in the wet over at the Woodland, Shane’s recommendation after catching them at Green Man last year. The Welsh band were a joy to behold, playing a unique blend of folk, pop, rock and psychedelic elements. Vocalist Gruff Glyn is charismatic and humorous, and I particularly enjoyed the song ‘I Paint Dogs,’ which explores the unfortunate trend of artists having to have second or third jobs to survive in current times. Continuing on our last-day-must-see-everything journey, we took in the emotive, yearning vocals of post-punk, indie rock band Desperate Journalist, and were transported away from the puddles and mudslides to somewhere much more dreamlike by English Teacher at the Meadow, with their modern indie, psychedelic, post-punk inspired sound. I had a dance to a ghoulish set from Zombie Met Girl, blending elements of sort of classic musical horror with 70s US garage punk, which was exactly what I expected from the Convoy Cabaret, a tent which always felt like stepping into a goth, punky dive bar in the ambiguous past.
On the main stage, we caught Dry Cleaning. The post-punk band was fascinating to watch; I found myself transfixed by Florence Shaw’s spoken word vocals, intricate prose that drew me in like hypnosis. We managed to find a gap in the rain to get dinner: hotdogs and loaded fries as a final day celebration, which we ate under an apocalyptic-looking sky. I wondered if it was going to be torrential for the headliners. Fortunately, the rain did remain at bay, and we soaked up the insanity that is Dinosaur Jr, arguably one of the most influential bands of the 80s and 90s along with bands like Pixies. I couldn’t quite believe that I was really seeing them in the flesh, the way they are able to create such chaotic and yet carefully controlled sounds, distort their instruments into new realms in a way that is masterfully melodic as well as having moments of discordant noise and intensity. They glide through classic songs, including their cover of The Cure’s ‘Just Like Heaven,’ and it feels beautiful to have them play before the final headliners of the night, Amyl and the Sniffers, as it really encapsulates Bearded Theory’s lineup as an appreciation of music as a fluid melting pot of influences, all relevant to each others developing sound, and the festival’s commitment to platforming both the original spearheads of punk, rock and alternative music, as well as up-and-comers and the newest artists taking those genres and making them their own.
Amyl and the Sniffers were the perfect finale for the main stage. I know The Menstrual Cramps told us not to idolise your idols, but it’s hard not to see vocalist Amy Taylor as some sort of punk God, an animated whirlwind, her shouts reverberating over us like the sermons of the possessed. Something truly comes over her when she performs - holding us in the palm of their hand, the band sound absolutely massive, songs born in local venues in Melbourne are transformed into anthems on the Pallet stage, whilst still keeping the chaos, the diy elements, the flavour that got us hooked on their music from the very start. Complete with fireworks to commemorate the end of the festival, it was a triumphant set, hitting us like a cannonball that left our heads spinning, much like the after-effects of the amyl nitrate that the band is named after. Celebratory end of festival beer in hand, we tried to find somewhere to put the energy we’d been filled with after such an incredible show from Amyl and the Sniffers. We caught the end of System 7’s set at the Coda tent, and had a dance to their psychedelic blend of techno, ambient and trance, before catching the Big Ed closing party - my only comment being…it simply wasn’t loud enough! Ending our night with churros dipped in chocolate, and teas around our stove, ears ringing from such a range of incredible sounds, I don’t think either of us could quite comprehend the amount of artists we’d been able to see. Bearded Theory 2024 was wildly fun, with a lineup so impressive you almost don’t have time for anything else.
Monday morning meant hometime, and it was not an easy feat getting tents, trollies, heavy bags and kit across the waterlogged arena and through the well trodden campsites, reminding me of my only criticism for the weekend, which was accessibility issues caused by the weather. I’m not sure if there were some issues with the landowner, or what exactly happened, but pallets, walkways, woodchip etc that can be put down to keep festival sites safe didn’t make much of an appearance, which meant people with accessibility issues were restricted from accessing a lot of the arena. The staff were all incredibly lovely, helping the vast number of people who got their cars stuck in the mud and remaining very approachable sources of information and support throughout the weekend, however I do think that accessibility should be at the forefront of festival planners minds especially in a country like the UK, where rain is usually an inevitability. If this was improved, Bearded Theory could become an incredibly accessible festival, being within driving distance for so much of the UK, and situated on relatively flat land (compared to Green Man for example that is very hilly).
Overall, Bearded Theory is an incredible festival, with the spirit of diy music at its centre and a real support for new acts as well as old. Coming home, I felt like I’d been away for a week in some kind of hippy, woodland retreat, healed from the madness of London and the constant stress of city life. The magic of the festival’s temporary world was kept alive even through difficult weather, and I truly can’t wait for next year - and hope to see you there maybe, catching some ones-to-watch in your favourite band t-shirt…I’m up for some karaoke, if you are?
Bearded theory tickets for 2025 are released tomorrow 7th June
See our full gallery of photos from the festival HERE